Lessons
I learnt from my mother
My
mother Dr (Mrs) Sirima Goonesinghe was born in 1926. Yesterday I watched her sleeping peacefully
as she lay in a hospital bed after she suffered a massive stroke. A stroke we are not expecting her to recover
from.
In
the middle of the night, as I stayed with her at her bed side, I kept remembering the long conversations we have had and advise she had given us as we traveled this journey called life together...
These
are some of the more memorable lessons we learnt from her.
Going
with the flow
As
the youngest in a family of 13, at a very young age she learnt the art of going with the flow. She used to tell us stories about how all of
her sisters and brothers used to ‘boss’ her around. But it never made her
bitter. She learnt the art of just ‘going with the
flow’
This
was a quality she demonstrated to us all her life. And it helped her to live a contented and
peaceful life – despite many obstacles.
And
in her 90s, when she developed early dementia.
She always remained happy and contented with her life. Never showed any
bitterness at whatever the problems that the world threw at her. And there were
many …
Perseverance
She
came from a family of teachers, farmers, artists and business owners. But she wanted to become a medical
doctor. She used to tell us the stories
of how she overcame multiple obstacles to achieve this goal.
Being
humble
Her
achievements were many.
She
created a simple process to diagnose and treat visual defects in people in
remote parts of the world. And on her own she helped over 100,000 school kids
free of charge.
She
did the world’s first corneal transplant surgery under acupuncture anesthesia.
She
was a founder member of the Eye Donation Society of Sri Lanka. These days, Sri Lanka, which is a tiny island
in the Indian ocean is one of the largest donors of Corneas to the whole world.
She
was also a founder member of the Buddhist Students Federation and a trustee of
the Dhamma Vijaya Foundation. All these
organizations are still active and help the spiritual and physical well being
of many.
She
was active in Lionism. She was a
Soroptimist. At one time we counted over
20 non for profit organizations that she was active in.
And
one day we found a box full of medals and honors that had been bestowed on
her. International and local. She accepted them.
But
she always remained humble.
Being
a good parent and a grand parent
She
taught both my brother and I by example. She guided us on our own journey of
becoming Physicians. Comforted us when we were struggling. Always encouraged us
to do our best and be our best. Was
always there to listen to our problems. And I strongly believe that her good
wishes really made a difference in our lives.
She
also helped us be independent at a very young age. I was only 12 yrs of age
when she taught me how to manage money and buy groceries for our home.
And
when Chula married my brother, she too was treated like a daughter.
And
when the grand kids were born, she was always there for them too and loved them
unconditionally.
Active
listening
She
knew the art of active listening. And
she helped 1000s of her patients not only with their medical problems.
She
worked very long hours and gave them undivided attention always …
They always left her clinic with a healed body, mind and soul…
Generosity
and Helping others without expecting anything in return
As
we became adults, we were at times shocked at how generous she was. She would
obtain personal loans from the bank and give money to anyone who needed
it. Irrespective of whether they could
pay her back or not.
And
she taught us by example the true art of helping others WITHOUT expecting
anything in return. Taught us NEVER to
expect money that we gave away as a “loan” and consider it more like a
donation.
One
of her greatest gifts to mankind was the process she created to help school
kids in remote parts of the world. And we hope to carry on her legacy after her
death.
She
told us over and over again – that the ‘good’ you do will look after you.
“Always
help people without expecting anything in return”.
Advice
we will follow to our death beds.
Thinking
outside the box
I
remember as a child, she will go to a remote area in Sri Lanka. There would
hardly be any facilities to carry on her projects. But she would come up with very creative ways
to create a fully functioning temporary clinic in a mud hut and ‘recruit’ any
and all bystanders to be her assistants for the day. And achieve what she set out to be.
Taking
care of her self
For
a long time she suffered from back pain and low blood sugar. During these projects she always went
prepared. Although she worked very long
hours, she always took care of herself.
And she took food with her so that she could have a snack every 4 hrs.
Same with her back problem. She would make sure that she did not hurt her back
during all these projects.
Spiritual
development
She
taught us the importance of taking care of our own mental wellbeing. Taught us
the importance of meditation at a very young age. And continued to practice what she preached.
Leading
by example
As
a Consultant Ophthalmologist, she got the whole community together and built an
eye ward in a town called Negombo in Sri Lanka.
And everyday in the morning, before her rounds, she would go to the rest
rooms and inspect them. And if they were
not clean, she will start cleaning them herself. After about 2 days, I believe the cleaning
crew went out of their way to keep them clean before she arrived.
I
saw that happen over and over again. She
will never order people around. She
would consider everyone equal, work with them to achieve whatever the goals she
had to help the community.
Amma,
we are going to miss you
But
we will all try to carry on your legacy and try to emulate all that you have
taught us.
May
you attain Nibbana
Your
loving children and grand children
Nalin,
Chula, Iresha, Upeka and Akila Goonesinghe
PS
Lot
of you have asked us how you can help us carry on all the Community services
she started.
You
could do that in 2 ways
Pay
it forward and help others without expecting anything in return
You
could also make a tax deductable donation at www.AHelpingHand.org 100% of your donation will go to help people
in need
